Just another day?

Tuesday 23rd October 2007...No day is just that, it depends, I suppose, just how you look at it.
Today was my last day at work, apart from some paperwork that is. So why do I feel the way I do? Sad, miserable. I should be happy at being able to just chill. I am , but I prefer to say, taking a gap year, just in order to get my health and life in order.
What a luxury! OK, so many things have now become difficult to do and pain takes a priority and I do hope to get on top of things but I am in the fortunate position of having just one child left at home, one of eight I might add, and a wonderful partner that takes care of us.
She has all she needs as well as the ability and opportunity to work part time, cope with her college work and to socialise with friends. She doesn't need to but we encourage that in order to educate her in the ways of life.
I would give each of them the world if I could but over the years things have been tough and each one has had to accept what was at the time. I have given my time, patience, my love and what little I could at each moment according to my knowledge, and my pocket. The trouble is that as time goes by, and each child develops, they get more knowledge. This knowledge then tells them that they should have had more... attention, support, what ever...
What they are all completely forgetting is that everything happens as it should and at the right time.
My memories are of playing, encouraging creativity, listening to music they made, listening to them when they needed to talk, allowing them to be who they wanted to be, trying to be non judgemental, but most of all spending time with them and being prepared to forget I was the parent sometimes and just being a friend.
Each one of us know the different sacrifices we have lovingly and willingly given our children and we have all done our best. It hurts when they come back with new knowledge and say but Mum/Dad, why didn't you... or I wish that...They will never know just how much of ourselves, Mother or Father, we have given to them because in our material world, unless it can be counted in money or something material to show to someone else, it never happened.
In my class in the last fifteen weeks I have learnt about the ultimate in sacrifice. One student told me about her parents, because the father was sick and unable to provide for their child,her mother lived in a different country for 21 years of their married life in order to educate her. ( Phillipines) Today this student does the same. She lives apart from her husband and child in order to earn enough money to give her daughter a good education and therefore a good life in their own country.
A student from China also lives apart from her husband and daughter so that her child will be able to have a brighter future. She is going home on holiday for three weeks and will celebrate her daughter's third birthday. When she left China, her daughter was unable to speak, today she wants to tell her Mummy so many stories.
I don't know about our children; how can we teach them appreciation in such a materialistic world? I only wish they could realise that we do give all we can for their future. After all, they are the lucky ones, we are here 24/7. They will never know the experience of growing up without a mother or father because our welfare system is family orientated. Parents can be around no matter what the situation because we have a system where no one needs to be hungry, destitute or homeless any more.
I wish we could educate our children what is happening in the rest of the world. These parents are so proud to be supporting their children in this way. Their children feel honoured that they had good parents, but what a sacrifice to their own lives. But at least they probably don't have as many arguments as we do because we are always together.
OK, my thoughts have been vented and tomorrow, an ordinary day, might lift my spirits so that I can blog with my usual wacky outlook on life. Today I honour all parents everywhere with my serious head on.
JM